Last updated April 10, 2022

Status:: #literature/books/ Author:: Medium:: { Books MOC Tags:: Links: { A Guide to the Good Life Application

{ A Guide to the Good Life

Introduction

Having a life philosophy requires us to have a grand goal for living, to make sure we are living our lives the way we want to

• However, this can still not be enough if we don’t have a proper strategy to achieve it
• We need a life consultant to keep us critical of our goals and handle conflicts
• Stoicism does not require rituals, but can be adopted in quiet parts of our day like before bed and in traffic

Outline

• Origins of stoicism
• How to practice (psychological for tranquility, dealing with daily stressors)
• Defending stoicism

Origins

• Socrates is respected for his integration of stoic beliefs into everyday life

Stoic Psychological Techniques

Negative Visualization

Visualizing the negative things that can happen to us serve three purposes:

• Feel it vividly enough to not want to end up with such a result
  • We actively make sure to make the most of our current fortunate situation
    • Once things do come to an end, we won’t be regretful because we were always aware of the eventual loss, and would have taken action earlier
• Prepare us for if it were to actually happen
• Counters hedonic adaptation, which is when our satisfaction returns to a regular state as we become used to new pleasures in our life
  • Negative visualization helps us lower our default bar as we realize we should not take things for granted
    • Makes people who have less, less miserable
  • Imagine we lost the things we value, to help us appreciate them more
  • Similar to how we feel motivated when we realize the finity of our life?

“we should love all of our dear ones . . . , but always with the thought that we have no promise that we may keep them  forever—nay, no promise even that we may keep them for long.”6 While enjoying the companionship of loved ones, then, we should periodically stop to reflect on the possibility that this enjoyment will come to an end. If nothing else, our own death will end it.

• Cherishing relationships

• Live as if each day were our last, or live as if every moment were our last

• Think about what we have rather than what we don’t have

• Gratitude is a form of negative visualization as we recognize that we were not guaranteed this opportunity

what is really foolish is to spend your life in a state of self-induced dissatisfaction when satisfaction lies within your grasp, if only you will change your mental outlook

• Maybe I should stop being a masochist

we should keep in mind that any human activity that cannot be carried on indefinitely must have a final occurrence. You will someday eat your last meal, and soon thereafter you will take your last breath.

5 - Dichtomy of Control

• What is up to us vs not up to us
  • Some things aren’t up to us can mean that we have some control, but complete
• We have complete control over values and goals
• We have partial control on our desires and impulses

Setting internal goals (our efforts and control) may be better than setting external goals (outcomes) as the former is something we can improve on and the latter won’t push us and will result in harm when it is not met.

12 - Grief

• Negative visualization can be used to prevent and extinguish grief
  • Makes us thankful that the things we mourn about existed in the first place, retrospective negative visualization
• When consoling someone, display signs of grief without expericing grief itself
  • Doing otherwise can be akin to helping someone deal with poisoning by being poisoned ourselves

13 - Anger

• Getting revenge is better fuelled with caution rather than anger
  • ex) When insulted, respond with calculated humor rather than aggressive counter-insults

Taking a broader perspective

People everywhere were doing the usual things: marrying, raising children, farming, loving, envying, fighting, and feasting. But, he points out, “of all that life, not a trace survives today.”

• Food for thought on how such intense emotions we may experience will have no trace as we leave this world

What seems vitally important to us will seem unimportant to our grandchildren. Thus, when we feel ourselves getting angry about something, we should pause to consider its cosmic (in)significance.

• Helps us realize it’s not worth the energy and investment on such temporary, trivial things

Opposition

• Buddhists actively replace negative emotions with their negative counterparts
  • The belief is that, only one emotion can exist at a time, so the stronger one will win

14 - Fame

• Fame comes at such an expensive price that it greatly outweights its benefits
• Caring about social status and being invited requires us to gain the attention and praise the other person
  • Create the possibilty of a rejection upsetting you
    • We give power of ourselves to them
• Thus, we shouldn’t seek social status, as we will end up enslaving ourselves to other’s needs
• How?
  • Be indifferent to people’s opinions, both approval and disapproval to improve the more general quality of life
    • Relates to Dichtomy of Control
  • You don’t need the approval of others if you already approve of yourself

On immortal fame

Such fame, Marcus says, is “an empty, hollow thing.” After all, think about how foolish it is to want to be remembered after we die. For one thing, since we are dead, we will not be able to enjoy our fame. For another, we are foolish to think that future generations will praise us, without even having met us, when we find it so difficult to praise our contemporaries, even though we meet them routinely. Instead of thinking about future fame, Marcus says, we would do well to concern ourselves with our present situation; we should, he advises, “make the best of today.”

• Don’t do it to remembered, just do it for yourself.

May restrict our dreams and aspirations

• People we share our goals to may secretly or evidently doubt us
  • For every milestone we hit, they may expect us to flop on the next one
  • It is only when we give up or fail is when we are welcomed to do the same to other ambitious people

15 - Luxurious Living

• Correlation with fame, as wealth can buy fame
  • If fame isn’t worth pursuing, then wealth isn’t either

Food

• A person who has simple meals can be just as satisfied as someone having fancy meals
  • Having fancy meals will heighten one’s standards and create disappointment when they aren’t met
    • Lose the ability to take delight in simple things
      • Unfortunately, people end up their “acquired taste for only the best” a good thing, but in reality, it only restricts and cucks them

  Musonius says, that “the pleasure connected with food is undoubtedly the most difficult of all pleasures to combat.”

Possessions

• Stoics focus on functionality and only needing what is necessary
• Contentment never happens as you continue to strive for more, never feeling satisfied with what you already have
  • Imagine self-neglecting your current situation for majority of your life just because you wished you had more
• Buddhists believe wealth is okay as long as you don’t cling to it

16 - Exile

Backlinks

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list from { A Guide to the Good Life AND !outgoing({ A Guide to the Good Life)

References:

Created:: 2022-04-04 16:04