High Performance Habits
- Author: Brendon Burchard
By the end of this book, you will never again wonder what it really takes to succeed when starting a new project at work or pursuing a bold new dream. You will be empowered with a set of reliable habits that research has shown to work with a broad range of personalities, and in a variety of situations, to create extraordinary long-term results. You’ll feel a new sense of vital energy and confidence from knowing where to focus your energies and how to serve most effectively. You’ll understand how to keep growing after you’ve enjoyed initial success. — loc: 81 ^ig9lbh
They’re wondering how to reach heightened and sustained growth and success. — loc: 107
Without systems, you cannot test hypothesis, track progress, or repeatedly deliver exceptional results. In personal and professional development, these systems and procedures are, ultimately, habits. — loc: 145
Isn’t it true that there are billions of hard workers on the bottom of the pile? Don’t you know plenty of passionate people in your hometown who have plateaued? — loc: 156
There’s something frustrating about working hard, being passionate and grateful, and still not advancing, still not feeling — loc: 177
There’s also something depleting about it all: excelling sometimes but feeling exhausted too often; having grit and getting paid but not feeling rewarded; being motivated but not creating real momentum; engaging with others but not really connecting; adding value but not making a dent. That’s not a vision of the life we desire. — loc: 178
yes, also enjoy the journey more. I realized that the problem with the old formula for success—work hard; be passionate; focus on your strengths; practice a lot; stick to it; be grateful—is that so much of it is geared toward individual results and initial success. These things get you in the game and keep you in the game. — loc: 183
Why do some individuals and teams succeed more quickly than others and sustain that success over the long term? Of those who pull it off, why are some miserable and others happy on their journey? What motivates people to reach for higher levels of success in the first place, and what kinds of habits, training, and support help them improve faster? — loc: 193
The research not only spans twenty years of my own personal development and self-experimentation, but also includes data from coaching interventions with thousands of clients, detailed before-and-after assessments from thousands of live-workshop attendees, structured interviews with hundreds of people at the top of their fields, insights gleaned from academic literature reviews, and hundreds of thousands of codified comments from my students and from my free online training videos, which have received over 100,000,000 views. — loc: 208
With the right habits, anyone can dramatically increase results and become a high performer in almost any field of endeavor. — loc: 213
Certainty is the enemy of growth and high performance. — loc: 235
high performers outgrow their youthful need for certainty and replace it with curiosity and genuine self-confidence. — loc: 239
Too many are checking in to all the apps and stats and still losing touch with their real ambitions and soul. — loc: 244
high performance refers to succeeding beyond standard norms, consistently over the long term. — loc: 247
A Super Bowl–winning quarterback doesn’t just know how to throw a ball. He has had to master mental toughness, nutrition, self-discipline, team leadership, strength and conditioning, contract negotiations, brand building, and so on. — loc: 256
It’s not just about achievement in a profession or in just one area of interest. It’s about creating a high performance life, in which you experience an ongoing feeling of full engagement, joy, and confidence that comes from being your best self. — loc: 266
High performers are more successful than their peers, yet they are less stressed. — loc: 285
High performers love challenges and are more confident that they will achieve their goals despite adversity. — loc: 290
High performers are healthier than their peers. — loc: 294
The top 5 percent of high performers are 40 percent more likely to exercise three times per week. — loc: 296
High performers work passionately regardless of traditional rewards. — loc: 310 NOTE: Im puttng too much worry over gpa
High performers work hard not because of money but because of something called necessity, — loc: 312
They’re less into “finding their strengths” and more into “adaptive service”—exploring what needs fixing and growing into the person who can fix it. — loc: 324
that high performers get more things done that are highly valued in their primary field of interest. They remember that the main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing. — loc: 329
be leaders who can adapt to challenging circumstances and guide others to their own successes and contributions. In this capacity, high performers can go from project to project and succeed, over and over. It’s as if you could put them in any context, any team, any company, any industry, and they would win—not because they’re geniuses or lone wolves, but because they positively influence others to rise. They don’t just develop skill; they develop people. — loc: 335
We call these six habits the HP6. They have to do with clarity, energy, necessity, productivity, influence, and courage. They reflect what high performers actually do continually—from goal to goal, from project to project, from team to team, from person to person. Each of the habits is learnable, improvable, and deployable across all contexts of life. — loc: 351
It’s okay that you want more. Don’t fear your new ambitions. — loc: 392
To succeed, always remember that the main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing. — loc: 412 NOTE: Important
- Read the next two chapters today. — loc: 440
- Take the assessment at HighPerformanceIndicator.com. Don’t worry, it’s free and it takes just five to seven minutes to complete. — loc: 433
figure out how to help someone improve their performance. It often began with asking the client questions about what he or she wanted, and what “limiting beliefs” got in the way. You also interviewed them about the past, trying to spot any events that might be influencing current behaviors. Second, you used assessment tools to help determine personality styles, patterns, and preferences. The goal was to help people better understand themselves and any behaviors that might help them succeed. Popular tools included Myers-Briggs, the Clifton StrengthsFinder, the Kolbe A™ Index, and the DiSC® Test. Often, the life coach would hire experts or consultants certified in these tools, to help administer them. Third, the coach would sift through performance reviews from work and talk to the people around the client, using 360-degree assessments to figure out how others perceived them and what others wanted from them. You’d talk to the people they lived and worked with. Fourth, you’d evaluate their actual output. You’d look at their past results to see what stood out, what processes helped them create good work, how they most loved to make an impact. So in this tradition, I did all these things. Because Tom liked tangible data and reports, we spent a lot of time taking and then discussing the assessments. We worked with several high-level consultants who were experts in the various tools. We had binders full of information. Then, over a span of two years, despite knowing my client’s traits, talents, scores, and background, I watched him continually fail. I — loc: 491 NOTE: Interview
9 We found that not only do the six habits combine to correlate with high performance, but each habit correlates with high performance on its own. — loc: 577
If you want to reach higher levels of performance in anything you do, you must consistently do the following: Seek clarity on who you want to be, how you want to interact with others, what you want, and what will bring you the greatest meaning. As every project or major initiative begins, you ask questions such as “What kind of person do I want to be while I’m doing this?” “How should I treat others?” “What are my intentions and objectives?” “What can I focus on that will bring me a sense of connection and fulfillment?” High performers ask these types of questions not only at the beginning of an endeavor but consistently throughout. They don’t just “get clarity” once and develop a mission statement that lasts the test of time; they consistently seek clarity again and again as times change and as they take on new projects or enter new social situations. This kind of routine self-monitoring is one of the hallmarks of their success. Generate energy so that you can maintain focus, effort, and wellbeing. To stay on your A game, you’ll need to actively care for your mental stamina, physical energy, and positive emotions in very specific ways. Raise the necessity for exceptional performance. This means actively tapping into the reasons you absolutely must perform well. This necessity is based on a mix of your internal standards (e.g., your identity, beliefs, values, or expectations for excellence) and external demands (e.g., social obligations, competition, public commitments, deadlines). It’s about always knowing your why and stoking that fire all the time so you feel the needed drive or pressure to get at it. Increase productivity in your primary field of interest. Specifically, focus on prolific quality output (PQO) in the area in which you want to be known and to drive impact. You’ll also have to minimize distractions (including opportunities) that steal your attention from creating PQO. Develop influence with those around you. It will make you better at getting people to believe in and support your efforts and ambitions. Unless you consciously develop a positive support network, major achievements over the long haul are all but impossible. Demonstrate courage by expressing your ideas, taking bold action, and standing up for yourself and others, even in the face of fear, uncertainty, threat, or changing conditions. Courage is not an occasional act, but a trait of choice and will. — loc: 583
Regardless of what you are naturally good at, to rise higher you must go beyond what came naturally to you at birth or in your teen years, right? That’s why the innate argument doesn’t hold up so well. To reach exceptional performance and win over the long term, you will be required to develop well beyond what is easy or natural to you, because the real world is full of uncertainty and ever-increasing demands for growth. Your “natural” birth strengths will not be enough. — loc: 624
Knowing your label or strength and just trying to be “more of that” is like telling a bear that’s trying to get honey out of a nest high on an unexplored cliff, “Just try being more of a bear.” — loc: 633
Let’s stop spending all this money on expensive strength and personality assessments in vain attempts to categorize people, and instead focus on training our people in proven habits that anyone can use to up their performance. — loc: 635
We like to think of the HP6 as “meta-habits” because they make all other good habits in life fall into place. — loc: 686
HP6 is that each improvement in any one area improves the others. — loc: 689
HP6 predict overall happiness, — loc: 693
When people talk about how they feel in high performance, they report feeling full engagement, joy, and confidence (in that order). — loc: 702
This means they tend to be fully immersed in what they are doing, they enjoy what they’re doing, and they have confidence in their ability to figure things out. Rounding out the top five were — loc: 703
thirty thousand high performing respondents, it’s pretty clear: When people talk about how they feel in high performance, they report feeling full engagement, joy, and confidence (in that order). This means they tend to be fully immersed in what they are doing, they enjoy what they’re doing, and they have confidence in their ability to figure things out. — loc: 701
When people talk about how they feel in high performance, they report feeling full engagement, joy, and confidence (in that order). This means they tend to be fully immersed in what they are doing, they enjoy what they’re doing, and they have confidence in their ability to figure things out. — loc: 702 NOTE: Important to ask
Determination, focus, intention, deliberateness, and conscientiousness rounded out the top concepts people used to describe what being in high performance felt like. — loc: 707
Someday soon, you’ll enter an uncertain situation where your performance really matters. Before that day, read this book and begin the six high performance habits. This is your map, and it will lead you through the thicket of life to your highest levels of success. In the next chapter, we put an X on that map. — loc: 763
No matter what Kate is talking about, you can tell she’s genuinely interested in you. — loc: 778
I’m not drowning. I’m just sort of frustrated and restless at the same time. — loc: 813
I bet you know a lot of people like Kate. She’s hardworking, smart, capable, caring. Like a lot of achievers, she has a list of goals, and she accomplishes most of them. But the truth is she doesn’t know what will bring the vibrancy back into her life. — loc: 824
you don’t “have” clarity; you generate it. — loc: 873
You generate clarity by asking questions, researching, trying new things, sorting through life’s opportunities, and sniffing out what’s right for you. — loc: 874
Clarity on who you are is associated with overall self-esteem. This means that how positive you feel about yourself is tied to how well you know yourself. — loc: 880
Next, you need to have unambiguous and challenging goals. Decades of research show that having specific and difficult goals increases performance, whether those goals are created by you or assigned to you. — loc: 884
higher clarity scores are significantly associated with greater confidence, overall happiness, and assertiveness. — loc: 899
the highest performers had a great ability to focus on the future and divine how they would achieve excellence. — loc: 920
they consistently thought about who they wanted to be and how to become that. They didn’t just know their strengths today; they knew what broader skill sets they would have to master in coming months and years to serve with excellence at the next level. They didn’t just have clear plans to achieve their goals this quarter; — loc: 922
High performers are clear on their intentions for themselves, their social world, their skills, and their service to others. I call these areas self, social, skills, and service, or the Future Four. — loc: 934
people think of themselves constantly, but much of that thinking is just negative ruminations. So what makes the difference is that high performers imagine a positive version of themselves in the future, and then they actively engage in trying to be that. This part about actively engaging is important. They aren’t waiting to demonstrate a characteristic next week or next month. They are living into their best self now. — loc: 954
These three words became my clarity checkpoint in life. Every night, lying in bed just before dozing off, I would ask myself, “Did I live fully today? Did I love? Did I matter?” — loc: 962
the nights that I can say yes to those questions—when I feel clear and on track—are the nights I sleep best. — loc: 964
because it keeps me clear and on track. This is similar to the work I had to do with Kate. Her identity-formation practices had stagnated. She hadn’t thought about a better — loc: 967
This means that as Kate went about her day, an alarm would go off and she’d see her words on her phone to remind her who she was and could become. Now it’s your turn. Describe how you’ve perceived yourself in the following situations over the past several months—with your significant other, at work, with the kids or team, in social situations with strangers. Now ask, “Is that who I really see myself being in the future?” How would my future self look, feel, and behave differently in those situations? If you could describe yourself in just three aspirational words—words that would sum up who you are at your best in the future—what would those words be? Why are those words meaningful to you? Once you find your words, put them in your phone as an alarm label that goes off several times per day. — loc: 978
High performers also have clear intentions about how they want to treat other people. They have high situational awareness and social intelligence, which help them succeed and lead.7 In every situation that matters, they know who they want to be and how they want to interact with others. — loc: 986
Before you went into your last meeting, did you think about how you wanted to interact with each person in the meeting? Before your last phone call, did you think about the tone you would choose to use with the other person? On your last night out with your partner or friends, did you set an intention for the energy you wanted to create? When you were dealing with that last conflict, did you think about your values and how you wanted to come across to the other person when you talked to them? Do you actively think about how to be a better listener, how to generate positive emotions with others, how you can be a good role model? — loc: 991 NOTE: Prompts
How can I be a good person or leader in this upcoming situation? What will the other person(s) need? What kind of mood and tone do I want to set? — loc: 999
When asked to choose words that describe their best interactions with others, high performers most often responded with words such as thoughtful, appreciative, respectful, open, honest, empathetic, loving, caring, kind, present, and fair. — loc: 1002
When you are constantly juggling and feel depleted, you don’t think about the future. You’re just trying to survive today, — loc: 1019
They’ve built a curriculum for themselves and are actively engaged in learning. What’s clearly linking all these blocks of scheduled time is the desire to develop specific skill sets. — loc: 1040
!Prodigies stay focused on their specialties
!Prodigies stay focused on their specialties
!Finding your prioritized specialty
Look to the future. Identify key skills. Obsessively develop those skills. — loc: 1073
You can follow Kate’s lead. Try this: Think about your PFI (primary field of interest) and write down three skills that make people successful in that field. Under each skill, write down what you will do to develop it. Will you read, practice, get a coach, go to a training? When? Set up a plan to develop those skills, put it in your calendar, and stay consistent. Now think about your PFI and write down three skills that you will need in order to succeed in that field five to ten years from now. In other words, try to imagine the future. What new skill sets will you likely need then? Keep those skills on your radar, and start developing them sooner rather than later. Service It had been too long since Kate felt the difference she was making. She had lost the spirit of service to others, and that’s what had caused her to start merely going through the motions at work. Though nothing there had changed, she began perceiving her days as a series of empty tasks. Specifically, while she was a phenomenal leader at work and she truly felt the spirit of service in leading her teams, she had lost her connection to those ultimately affected by their work: her customers. It turned out that Kate hadn’t actually spoken with any of her customers in years. She had become an internal executive in a big company, far removed from the front lines—and the real people that her organization served. So she started a monthly practice of visiting her customers and really listening to them and asking what they wanted from her company in the future. Soon, her enthusiasm for work came roaring back. The last of the Four Futures, after self, social, and skills, concerns how high performers look to tomorrow and consider their service to the world. Specifically, high performers care deeply about the difference they are going to make for others and in the future in general, so they cater today’s activities to delivering those contributions with heart and elegance. This may sound like a broad description, but it’s how high performers talk. They often speak of how all the extra efforts they make to wow people today are vitally important to leaving a lasting legacy tomorrow. That’s why, for many high performers, the details — loc: 1088
Finding your prioritized specialty
!High performers are energized from forces outside themselves
When someone becomes disconnected from the future — loc: 1112
Performance Prompts When I think about the Future Four—self, social, skill, and service—the area that I haven’t had as much intention in as I should is . . . The areas in which I have not been considering those I serve and lead are . . . To leave a lasting legacy, the contributions I can start making now are . — loc: 1132
visit HighPerformanceHabits.com/tools. — loc: 1130
The second practice that will help you heighten and sustain clarity in your life is to ask yourself frequently, “What is the primary feeling I want to bring to this situation, and what is the primary feeling I want to get from this situation?” — loc: 1141
They can sense their emotional state in any given moment, but they often choose to override it by defining what they want to feel. — loc: 1158
!The difference between emotions and feelings
automatic and physical. The word feeling here is used to refer to a mental portrayal of an emotion. This is not a precise statement, but it’s helpful for our purposes here: Think of an emotion — loc: 1167
— loc: 1169
Whenever you “calm yourself down,” you are choosing a different feeling than the emotion that may have come up for you. — loc: 1171
!The difference between emotions and feelings
flow is a feeling they choose. It is summoned, not a lucky emotion that conveniently happens to show up just in time for kickoff. — loc: 1196
Next time you go on a date with someone, think about the feelings you want to create. — loc: 1207
Performance Prompts The emotions I’ve been experiencing a lot of lately are . . . The areas of life where I’m not having the feelings I want to are . . . The feelings I want to experience more of in life include . . . The next time I feel a negative emotion come up, the thing I’m going to say to myself is . . — loc: 1210
they find meaningful, and this makes them happy. — loc: 1220
What emerged was that high performers tended to equate four factors with meaning. — loc: 1237
if you want a positive life, you would do well to summon as much enthusiasm as possible. — loc: 1242
Social relationships, especially with those closest to us, are the most frequently reported sources of meaning in life. — loc: 1245
When your efforts correspond with one of your primary passions, lead to personal or professional growth, and make a clear and positive contribution to others, you tend to call those efforts satisfying. — loc: 1254
— loc: 1255
This sense of coherence seems to be particularly important to high performers. — loc: 1260
Enthusiasm + Connection + Satisfaction + Coherence = Meaning — loc: 1266
You need to bring more conscious and consistent thought to what you will find meaningful in life. — loc: 1269
Performance Prompts The activities that I currently do that bring me the most meaning are . . . The activities or projects that I should stop doing, because they are not bringing me any sense of meaning, are . . . If I was going to add new activities that bring me more meaning, the first ones I would add would be . . — loc: 1272
High performance clarity happens because we put these concepts up onto the dashboard of our conscious mind. — loc: 1289
our goal is to focus on these things more consistently than you ever have before. — loc: 1290
“Energy is eternal delight.” —William Blake — loc: 1340
You’ll notice that energy isn’t just physical, which is how most people conceive of it. Mental alertness matters, too. So does positive emotion. In fact, all three have been correlated with high performance. — loc: 1351
Energy is also positively related to educational attainment, creativity, and assertiveness. — loc: 1365
In our surveys, married people have more energy than their never married counterparts. — loc: 1374
Finally, energy is significantly related to productivity.2 If you ever want to get more done, you don’t need to buy some new — loc: 1376
A power plant transforms and transmits energy. In the same regard, you don’t “have” happiness. Rather, you transform your thoughts into feelings that are or are not happy. You don’t have to “have” sadness; you can transform it to something else. — loc: 1398
!The difference between emotions and feelings
In a decade of coaching high performers, I’ve found that the easiest, fastest, and most effective way to help them increase their energy is to teach them to master transitions. — loc: 1407
teach them to master transitions. Every day, people lose tremendous amounts of focus, will, and emotional energy by managing transitions poorly. They also lose the benefit of greater mental and physical stamina throughout the day. — loc: 1408
These transitions are immensely valuable—a powerful space of freedom between activities. — loc: 1418
You get the idea. Our days comprise a series of transitions. These transitions are immensely valuable—a powerful space of freedom between activities. And it’s in this space that you’ll discover your greatest restorer and amplifier of energy. — loc: 1417
Now let me ask you a few questions about all these transitions: Do you ever carry over any negative energy from one activity to the next? Do you ever feel depleted but still plow into your next activity without a break, even though you know you should take a breather? Are you losing a sense of presence and appreciation for life and others the further you go in your day? — loc: 1421
When you feel you’ve released some tension—and it doesn’t have to be all the tension in your life!—move to the next part: SET INTENTION. This means think about what you want to feel and achieve in the next activity you’re about to take on when you open your eyes. Ask, “What energy do I want to bring into this next activity? How can I do this next activity with excellence? How can I enjoy the process?” These don’t have to be the exact questions you ask, but these are the kinds of question that will prompt your mind to be more present in the next activity. — loc: 1433
I do this RELEASE TENSION, SET INTENTION activity before and after workouts, before I pick up the phone to call someone, before I write an e-mail to my team, — loc: 1446
If you’d like to go to another level of mastery, try a twenty-minute practice called the Release Meditation Technique (RMT). — loc: 1451
Just close your eyes, sit up straight, and, breathing deeply, let the tension fall away from your body as you keep repeating the word release to yourself. As thoughts inevitably come up in your mind, don’t try to chase them away or ponder them—just let them go and return to the “release” mantra. — loc: 1453
visit YouTube and type in my name and “Release Meditation Technique.” — loc: 1456
Performance Prompts The things that cause me the most amount of tension each day are . . . A way I could remind myself to release that tension throughout the day is . . . If I felt more energy each day, I would be more likely to . . . When I reset my energy each day with this practice, I’d like to start the next activity feeling . — loc: 1479
bring more joy into your daily life. Joy won’t just make you a high performer, it will cue almost every other positive human emotion we desire in life. — loc: 1491
Positive emotion is a prerequisite for high performance. And only you are in charge of your enduring emotional experience. — loc: 1509
. . prime the emotions they want to experience, in advance of key events (or of the day in general). They think about how they want to feel, and ask themselves questions, or practice visualizations, that generate those feelings. (This aligns well with “focus on the feeling” from the previous chapter.) . . . anticipate positive outcomes from their actions. They’re optimistic and clearly believe that their actions will be rewarded. . . . imagine possible stressful situations and how their best self might gracefully handle them. As much as they anticipate positive outcomes, they’re realistic about hitting snags, and they prepare themselves for difficulties. . . . seek to insert appreciation, surprise, wonder, and challenge into their day. . . . steer social interactions toward positive emotions and experiences. They are what one respondent called “conscious goodness spreaders.” . . . reflect regularly on all that they’re grateful for. — loc: 1520
“Brendon, what might stress you out today, buddy, and how would your best self handle it if it came up?” Or “Brendon, when X happens, think about Y, and then do Z.” — loc: 1552
standing in the shower, thinking of stressful situations every morning and talking to myself. But thinking through obstacles and talking to yourself in the second person can be much more powerful — loc: 1556
The first trigger was what I call a “notification trigger.” I put the phrase BRING THE JOY into my phone as an alarm label. I set the alarm for three different times throughout the day, and I set the text for the label of the alarm to read BRING THE JOY! — loc: 1576
The second trigger I set was what I call a “door frame trigger.” Every time I walk through a doorway, I say to myself, “I will find the good in this room. I’m entering this space a happy man ready to serve.” — loc: 1582
The third trigger I set up was a “waiting trigger.” Whenever I’m waiting in line to buy something, I ask myself, “What level of presence and vibration do I feel right now, on a scale of 1 through 10?” By asking myself this question, I’m checking in on my emotional state, scoring it, and choosing whether it’s sufficient to how I want to feel and how I want to live my life. — loc: 1585
The fourth trigger I set up was a “touch trigger.” Whenever I’m introduced to someone, they get a hug. Not because I’m a natural hugger—I’m not. I started this trigger because I read so much research about how touch is vital to well-being and happiness.22 — loc: 1590
The fifth trigger I created was the “gift trigger.” Whenever something positive happens around me, I say, “What a gift!” I did this because so many high performers talked about how they felt a sense of reverence or sacredness in everyday life. — loc: 1593
The sixth trigger was a “stress trigger.” My brain injury was causing me to always feel hurried, almost panicked. And then one day I decided that hurry and stress were no longer going to be part of my life. — loc: 1601
I’d stand up, take ten deep breaths, and ask, “What’s the positive thing I can focus on and the next right action of integrity I should take now?” — loc: 1604
I wrote down three things that made me feel good during the day. Then I took just a few moments to close my eyes and actually relive them. — loc: 1607
I look back at my previous week’s gratitude entries and relive them again with just as much emotional connection. If I can close my eyes for five minutes and for that full duration, easily think of a growing list of things to be grateful for, then I know I was paying attention during the week. — loc: 1611
Gratitude is the golden frame through which we see the meaning of life. — loc: 1616
whenever his wife called his name, he would say to himself, “You are on this planet for this woman. Bring joy to her life.” — loc: 1624
Performance Prompts Three questions I could ask myself every morning to prompt positive emotions for the rest of the day could be . . . Some new triggers I could set for myself include (see my examples of notification, doorway, and waiting-in-line triggers) . . . A new routine I could begin for replaying the positive moments of my days is . . . — loc: 1631
“I’ll focus on my health and happiness again in ninety days. I’m just busy now.” The person saying this tends to be on a perpetual fatigue cycle—they say ninety days, but it’s really been, and will continue to be, years before they rest and feel human again. — loc: 1669
In this excuse, “X” generally refers to working out, healthy eating/shopping, or meditation. But I learned that none of these things necessarily cost you time. In fact, they often buy back time by making you more energized and productive. — loc: 1681
Exercise also decreases stress, which is a killer of mental performance. — loc: 1697
So if the demands of your job or life require you to learn fast, deal with stress, be alert, pay attention, remember important things, and keep a positive mood, then you must take exercise more seriously. — loc: 1701
If you care about your contributions to the world, you’ll care for yourself. — loc: 1703
Beware of using meals as a way to push down negative emotions. If you feel bad, move. Go for a walk and change your emotional state before eating. — loc: 1731
For other sleep tricks, read The Sleep Revolution by my good friend Arianna Huffington. — loc: 1778
That’s just four sessions of intense exercise per week. On the other three days, you can walk briskly outside for twenty to forty-five minutes. — loc: 1785
Finally, stretch way, way more. Just five to ten minutes of light stretching or yoga every morning and night will help you gain greater flexibility and mobility. — loc: 1789
Performance Prompts I want to get as physically healthy as I can at this stage of my life because . . . If I was going to get in the best shape of my life, the first three things I would stop doing would be . . . The things I would start doing include . . . A weekly schedule that I could use to get healthier and actually stick to would be . . — loc: 1791
You can have all the other habits up and running in your life, but without mastering this one, you won’t feel good. — loc: 1798
You don’t have to strive to live an extraordinary life. And yet, some people do feel they have to. Why? The answer is a phrase that explains one of the most powerful drivers of human motivation and excellence: performance necessity. — loc: 1846
often ask high performers why they work so hard and how they stay so focused, so committed. Their responses often sound something like this: It’s just who I am. I can’t imagine doing anything else. This is what I was made to do. There’s also a sense of obligation and urgency: People need me now; they’re counting on me. I can’t miss this opportunity. If I don’t do this now, I’ll regret it forever. — loc: 1859
you cannot become extraordinary without a sense that it’s absolutely necessary to excel. — loc: 1872
These are the factors in performance necessity (which I call the Four Forces of Necessity): identity, obsession, duty, and urgency. The first two are mostly internal. The second two are mostly external. — loc: 1877
But high performers care even more about excellence and thus put more effort into their activities than others do. How can we know that they care more? Because they report self-monitoring their behavior and performance goals more often. — loc: 1905
You need some sort of practice for checking in on whether you are living up to your own personal standards. — loc: 1919
they feel that they’re on the right path because they frequently check in with themselves. — loc: 1928
So how can high performers look themselves in the mirror so often and not get discouraged? Perhaps it’s simply because self-evaluation is something they’re used to. They’re comfortable with it. They don’t fear observing themselves, flaws and all, — loc: 1932
Still, high performers can be tough on themselves when they fail, because excellence is so important to their identity. — loc: 1935
The goal for all underperformers must be to set new standards, self-monitor more frequently, and learn to become comfortable with taking a hard, unflinching look at their own performance. — loc: 1951
They too highly value the performance edge that comes from necessity to let themselves off the hook. The payoff is worth the potential discomfort. Don’t fear this concept of necessity. — loc: 1958
Sure, you might fail. Sure, it might be uncomfortable. But what’s the alternative? Holding back? Landing at the tail end of life and feeling that you didn’t give it your all? Trudging through life safely inside your little bubble bored or complacent? Don’t let that be your fate. — loc: 1967
As you would expect, high performers are deeply curious people. In fact, their curiosity for understanding and mastering their primary field of interest is one of the hallmarks of their success. — loc: 1977
“grit,” they’re talking about combined passion and perseverance. — loc: 1983
certain degree of insanity and recklessness is necessary to advance or innovate anything, — loc: 1994
When you are passionate about what you do, people understand. When you are obsessed, they think you’re mad. That’s the difference. It is this almost reckless obsession for mastering something that makes us feel the imperative to perform at higher levels. — loc: 2002
It changes from a desire to feel a particular state of emotion—passion—to a quest to be a particular kind of person. It becomes part of you, something you value more deeply than other things. It becomes necessary for you. — loc: 2012
keep experimenting in life until they find something that sparks unusual interest. Then, if it aligns with your personal values and identity, jump in. Get curious. Let yourself geek out on something and go deep. Let that part of you that wants to obsess about and master something come alive again. — loc: 2039
The values that are important for me to live include . . . A recent situation where I didn’t live my values was . . . The reason I didn’t feel it necessary in that moment to live my values is . . . A recent situation in which I was proud of living my values or being a particular kind of person was . . . The reason I felt it necessary to be that kind of person then was . . . The topics I find myself obsessed with include . . . A topic I haven’t been obsessing about enough in a healthy way is — loc: 2045
An external force of necessity is any outside factor that drives you to perform well. Some psychologists might simply describe this as “pressure.” — loc: 2053
More often, high performers view “positive” external forces as causal reasons for increased performance. — loc: 2068
High performers often feel the necessity to perform well out of a sense of duty to someone or something beyond themselves. — loc: 2074
people tend to maintain motivation, give more effort, and achieve higher performance when they are held accountable for their outcomes, are evaluated more often, and have the opportunity to demonstrate their expertise or gain respect from those they serve. — loc: 2085
For example, when we are evaluated more and held accountable to team performance, we work harder and better. — loc: 2088
Because high performers understand the need to meet their obligations, they rarely complain about the tasks and duties they must perform to succeed. — loc: 2103
I’ve learned to adjust my attitude to things I have to do, to complain less and realize that most of what I “have” to do is in truth a blessing. — loc: 2105
When you feel the drive to serve others, you sustain solid performance longer. This is one reason, for example, why members of the military are often so extraordinary. — loc: 2108
when I talk with high performers, they regularly say they “don’t have a choice” but to be good at what they do. — loc: 2112
What is a “real” deadline? It’s a date that matters because, if it isn’t met, real negative consequences happen, and if it is real, benefits come to fruition. — loc: 2125
Habits such as clarifying real deadlines are what make me, and every high performer I know, so effective. — loc: 2139
This example illustrates another aspect of real deadlines: that they are inherently social deadlines. High performers are driven to get things done because they recognize that their timeliness affects other people. The reality is that when you choose to care for others and make a big difference in the world, the number of deadlines coming at you will increase. — loc: 2153
High performers are driven to get things done because they recognize that their timeliness affects other people. The reality is that when you choose to care for others and make a big difference in the world, the number of deadlines coming at you will increase. — loc: 2154
Set a “desk trigger” for yourself. From now on, whenever you sit down at your desk—that’s the trigger action—ask: “Who needs me on my A game the most right now?” — loc: 2184
This popular concept in positive psychology is known as flow. According to Mihay Csikszentmihalyi, flow happens when several of these elements are in play: You have goals that are clear and challenging yet attainable. Strong concentration and focused attention are required. The thing you’re doing is intrinsically rewarding. You lose self-consciousness a bit and feel serene. Time stops—you feel so focused on the present that you lose track of time. You’re getting immediate feedback on your performance. There’s a balance between your skill level and the challenge presented. You know that what you’re doing is doable even if difficult. You have a sense of personal control over the situation and the outcome. You stop thinking about your physical needs. You have the — loc: 2228
flow happens when several of these elements are in play: You have goals that are clear and challenging yet attainable. Strong concentration and focused attention are required. The thing you’re doing is intrinsically rewarding. You lose self-consciousness a bit and feel serene. Time stops—you feel so focused on the present that you lose track of time. You’re getting immediate feedback on your performance. There’s a balance between your skill level and the challenge presented. You know that what you’re doing is doable even if difficult. You have a sense of personal control over the situation and the outcome. You stop thinking about your physical needs. You have the ability to focus completely on the activity at hand. — loc: 2229
Performance Prompts The people who need me on my A game at this point in my life are . . . The reasons each of those people need me include . . . The reasons I want to become a high performer for each of these people are . . . I know that I’m on my A game when I think, feel, or behave . . . The things that throw me off my A game are . . . I can deal more effectively with those things by . . . A few reminders I could set up for myself to be my best for the people in my life could include . — loc: 2243
If there is one necessity practice that seems to divide high performers and underperformers the most, it’s this one. Underperformers are often unclear about their why, and they don’t use affirmations or speak about the whys they do have. — loc: 2255
When I say affirm your why to yourself, I mean literally talk to yourself — loc: 2275
All this leads me to suggest that you affirm your whys, to yourself and to others, more consistently. — loc: 2274
right before I started filming, I would say something like this to myself: “Brendon, you’re doing this because it’s important. Remember your students. You can inspire them and help them reach their goals. That’s your purpose. Do good for them. You’re going to love this, and you’re going to help a lot of people.” — loc: 2280
I was speaking confidently about why I wanted to do well on camera that day. — loc: 2283
Performance Prompts Three things I would like to become extraordinary at doing are . . . My whys for becoming excellent in each of these areas are . . . The people I will tell about these goals and the whys behind them include . . . The things I can say out loud to myself to affirm these whys—my affirmations—are . . . Some ways I can remind myself about these important goals and whys are . . . — loc: 2303
It’s the people you talk with or see the most. I tell my clients that their job is to start spending more time with the best in their peer group, — loc: 2314
I tell my clients that their job is to start spending more time with the best in their peer group, and less with the more negative members. — loc: 2315
If you truly want to increase your performance in any area of your life, get around some new people who expect and value high performance. — loc: 2316
Social support just makes personal development and overall life success easier, faster, and more enjoyable. — loc: 2363
They seek networking activities or group affiliations with more successful people. At work, they communicate more with people who are more experienced and often “above” them on the organizational chart. In their personal lives, they volunteer more, spend less time in negative or conflict-ridden relationships, and ask for help from their more successful peers more than others do. — loc: 2367
spend more time (a) hanging with your positive and successful peers and (b) building a new positive peer group. — loc: 2387
How do you do that? Here’s my go-to list for helping someone get around a more successful peer group: 1. Add one more awesome friend. To make a difference in your life, you don’t need dozens of new friends. You need one more positive person who brings out the best in you. So find your most positive and successful friend and ask him to bring one or two of his friends to your next night out. — loc: 2394
- Volunteer. This is always my first move in working with people who feel surrounded by negative people. Volunteers are spirited, positive people. They are givers. You want to be around that spirit of service for your own personal and spiritual development anyway. — loc: 2399
8.1 percent of those with less than a high school diploma.39 Often, the people who staff nonprofit organizations, especially at the board and committee levels, are the richest people in a community. — loc: 2405
But volunteering isn’t just about getting around richer or more educated people. It’s about serving others and developing the kind of empathy and spirit of service required to deal with all your relationships in life. — loc: 2407
- Seek mentorship. I tell high performers to have one or two lifelong mentors: older, wiser, highly respected, successful people. I want you to call them once per month. I also want you to have one new “domain mentor” every three years. This means someone who has precisely the expertise you need to succeed in your field. — loc: 2417
To find mentors, start again with your friends and family. Ask, “Who do I know who has great wisdom and influence, who I might be able to learn from?” You might find a mentor at your workplace or by doing the actions above—say, volunteering or playing sports. — loc: 2421
- Earn it. You want to get around more successful people? Then earn your way into that party by becoming exceptional at what you do. — loc: 2424
Performance Prompts The most positive people in my life who I should hang out with more include . . . To add to the number of high performers in my network, I should . . . Some new routines or get-togethers I could create to bring together the positive and supportive people in my life could include . — loc: 2432
You must consistently think it through: “Have I associated the important activities of my day with my identity and my sense of obligation? Why is chasing this dream so important to me? Why must I do this? When must I do it? How can I get around more amazing people who up my game and help me serve at the next level?” These questions, frequently revisited, can be the prompts for an entirely new level of commitment and drive. — loc: 2443
fundamentals of becoming more productive are setting goals and maintaining energy and focus. — loc: 2524
This is just one reason why you should never check your e-mail first thing in the morning. — loc: 2547
Distraction is another downer. One study found that distraction lowers productivity by 20 percent.11 It’s even worse if we’re working on challenging mental tasks—distractions then can slow our thinking by almost half. — loc: 2549
if you believe a better work-life balance is impossible, you have already lost the fight. — loc: 2574
The great mistake most people make is to think of balance in terms of evenly distributed hours. — loc: 2581
When most people feel that they’re “out” of balance, it’s because one area of their life became more intense, important, and time-consuming than other areas. — loc: 2593
transition better, release tension, — loc: 2621
Your brain also needs more downtime than you probably think—to process information, recover, and deal with life so that you can be more productive. — loc: 2628
questioned—perhaps we don’t run out of self-control and focus at all but, rather, just lose motivation24—one thing is certain: Working straight through the day with no breaks makes people unhappy and less productive. — loc: 2639
If you want to feel more energized, creative, and effective at work—and still leave work with enough oomph for the “life” part—the ideal breakpoint is to stop your work and give your mind and body a break every forty-five to sixty minutes. — loc: 2649
I recommend you get up from your chair at fifty minutes in, then take a fast stroll around the office, grab some water, come back to your chair, and do a sixty-second transition meditation. — loc: 2654
transition meditation means you simply close your eyes, focus on deep breathing, repeat to yourself a mantra such as “release,” and then set an intention for the next activity. — loc: 2655
Notice what’s not included during these breaks: checking e-mail, texts, or social media. Checking in is the exact opposite of our goal here: checking out so we can recharge. — loc: 2658
45–60-minute break becomes a way of life. — loc: 2667
If all you did was stand up every hour, close your eyes, and bounce in place while taking ten deep, long breaths, you’d feel a total renewal of focus and productivity in your life. — loc: 2672
do a short two-minute physical routine of calisthenics, Qigong, and yoga paired with deep breathing. — loc: 2674
If you want to become extraordinary, you need to figure out the productive outputs that matter in your field or industry. — loc: 2684
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High performers have mastered the art of prolific quality output (PQO). They produce more high-quality output than their peers over the long term, and that is how they become more effective, better known, more remembered. — loc: 2691
People spend eons of time on worthless activities—say, creating folders and organizing their e-mail—even though these have nothing to do with real productivity. — loc: 2695
Figuring out what you are supposed to produce, and learning the priorities in the creation, quality, and frequency of that output, is one of the greatest breakthroughs you can have in your career. — loc: 2706
Not one thing I’ve done today is going to advance my career or be remembered—by me or anyone else—ten years from now. I still remember that conversation in my head: “If you’re honest with yourself, you want to create things that matter. You want to know that a good day’s work produces something worthwhile, something that will be part of your important contributions to others and the world, something that shows you care about your craft.” — loc: 2728
I knew that if I was going to be an online course trainer—a relatively new career back in 2006—then my PQO would be curriculum, training videos, and full online courses. — loc: 2741
The results in my career are not because I’m particularly special or talented. They happen because I honed the focus for the PQOs that mattered in my career, and gave those outputs my obsessive attention and dedication continuously, over the long term. — loc: 2748
Whenever I have to help a client increase high performance, quickly discovering what output they should be creating is one of my go-to strategies. — loc: 2751
As quickly as possible, I want them spending 60 percent or more of their workweek oriented to PQO. — loc: 2753
For most people, the other 40 percent ends up in such buckets as strategy, team management, and the everyday tasks of work or running a business. I spend 60 percent of my workweek on writing, creating curriculum for online training, and filming videos. The other 40 percent goes to strategy, team management, industry — loc: 2754
I spend 60 percent of my workweek on writing, creating curriculum for online training, and filming videos. The other 40 percent goes to strategy, team management, industry relationships, and customer engagement, which includes social media and communicating with students. — loc: 2756
The 40 percent is really just the things that support or facilitate the 60 percent—the prolific quality output. — loc: 2757
Performance Prompts The outputs that matter most to my career are . . . Some things I could stop doing so I can focus more on PQO are . . . The percentage of my weekly time I will allocate to PQO is . — loc: 2782 NOTE: Pqo for each part of my life
She’d tell you that her cupcake business is still a priority, but dig into her calendar and you can see that “priority” no longer equates to work. Look closer and you’ll see that most of her efforts are unaligned. She’s busy, but she’s not progressing with purpose. — loc: 2797
But when they start making a lot of things happen with no unifying trajectory, they begin losing their power. — loc: 2807
Then they lose their passion. Then they’re achieving a lot of little things but no big, meaningful things. — loc: 2808
But for complex tasks and goals, planning is vital because there are usually a variety of strategies that can help achieve a goal, and some are more effective or desirable than others.34 The bigger the goal, the more to manage and the more interaction points with other people. To become a high performer requires thinking more before acting. — loc: 2811
Think of the most ambitious dream you’d like to take on, identify what you really want, then ask yourself: “If there were only five major moves to make that goal happen, what would they be?” — loc: 2822
Think of each major move as a big bucket of activities, a project. These big five projects that move you toward achieving your dream can then be broken down into deliverables, deadlines, and activities. Once you’re clear on these things, put them into your calendar, scheduling the bulk of your time in protected blocks during which you do nothing but make progress toward the activity that the specific block is dedicated to. — loc: 2824 NOTE: Focus and time blocking
If I can’t discern from your weekly and monthly calendar what major moves you are working toward, then you’re not optimizing your time and you’re at risk of getting sucked into a life of reaction and distraction. — loc: 2827
High performers plan almost everything more than underperformers do: from workouts to learning, from meetings to vacation time. — loc: 2830
Know the big five moves that will take you to your goal, break those moves down into tasks and deadlines, then put them in a calendar. — loc: 2833
Find the successful people you want to emulate in some way, and discover their five moves. — loc: 2847
I had a big, long list of things I was supposed to do. Here are a few: Go to writers’ workshops and get feedback on my writing to “find my voice.” Interview a bunch of people in my audience demographic to see what they want from my writing. Brainstorm media “hooks” and “angles” so I can incorporate them into the book for later use in getting major media coverage. Get famous people to endorse the book. — loc: 2858 NOTE: Brainstorm Ideas
Finish writing a good book. Until that’s done, nothing else matters. If you want a major publishing deal, get an agent. Or just self-publish. Start blogging and posting to social media, and use these to get an e-mail list of subscribers. E-mail is everything. Create a book promotion web page and offer some awesome bonuses to get people to buy the book. Bonuses are crucial. — loc: 2867
discovered that to get the result of number one bestseller, all that really mattered were these five basic moves: Finish writing a good book. Until that’s done, nothing else matters. If you want a major publishing deal, get an agent. Or just self-publish. Start blogging and posting to social media, and use these to get an e-mail list of subscribers. E-mail is everything. Create a book promotion web page and offer some awesome bonuses to get people to buy the book. Bonuses are crucial. — loc: 2865
Performance Prompts The biggest goal or dream I have that I need to plan out right now is . . . The five moves that would help me progress swiftly toward accomplishing that dream are . . . The timeline for each of my five moves will be . . . Five people who have achieved that dream who I could study, seek out, interview, or model are . . . The less important activities or bad habits I’m going to cut out of my schedule so that I can focus more time on the five moves in the next three months include . — loc: 2924