Openness

Principles

You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions. — Naguib Mahfouz, Nobel Prize Winner

We cannot ask an open question if we are not open ourselves
The opposite of being open is to be right
When in groups, it’s okay to not know the answer
- Helps create something new through Synergy

Name our triggers
- When we catch ourselves, write it down
  - “Sorry, I just noticed that I was not really listening. I got hung up on a need to be right, and I know that is not helping us. Can you say that again? This time I am really going to listen to what you are trying to say. Thanks.”
Asking open-ended questions
- Avoid questions that start with Is, Do, Does, Where, When, or Who, and encourage questions that start with What, and How
Restate a question
- Don’t be afraid to mention that you are trying to work on asking better questions
- Reinforce the habit
Converting objective questions into intimate questions
Tell me...
- Even more open-minded
- If they seem excited, tell me more
Explore possible truths and scenarios a person has possibly been in
- How do you deal with stressful situations when you are leading?
- Don’t be specific, be general and seek the truth
Be more conversational rather than interrogative
- So it’s Friday; what do you hope to do tonight?
- What are you excited about?
- Ask whether we are asking the right questions !Pasted image 20210622160835.png

Unknown triggers for proving our righteousness
- Ask yourself or others the following questions:
  - What is it that I do when I have a need to be right?
  - What is the story I’m telling myself when I have a need to be right?
  - What is the story I’m telling myself when I am not really listening?
Asking why questions with the idea that they are open, as well as using you
- Why might probe someone to go on the defensive
- Antidote: stop using it lol
  - Replace it with How or What
  - Remove you to focus on the process rather than the person
Not being open or nonjudgemental when asking How and What
- Saying How come and What made you
- Be sure that we do not have any expectations or biases when asking our questions
- Antidote: Be mindful
  - Are you asking those around you to justify their choices?
  - Do you want them to take a stance of defense?
Already saying why
- Acknowledging when we say why helps us be more mindful during future questions
- Check our tone
how do you feel?
- Try to elicit the answer in a different form
- Don’t overuse the question
Creating hypothetical questions
- Does not always apply to the real world and a person’s current situation
Using “but”
- Negates sincerity and emotion

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Created:: 2021-07-06 17:07