Status: Tags: Links: Dating for the long-term
Qualities of a long-term partner
What actually matters !
Emotional stability and kindness
- Most important yet underrated
emotional stability as being able to self-regulate and not give in to anger or impulsivity. The combined emotional stability of a couple predicts the satisfaction and stability of their relationship.
- allow us to show care and compassion
- Tip: Evaluate kindness through their small interactions with other people with no intent of getting anything in return:
- Nice to waiter, offer seat in transit, patient with people learning, compassionate
- Tip: Evaluate emotional stability through their coping mechanisms with stressful situations
- Do they calmly respond in the time between stimulus and response?
Loyalty
- Tip: Do they still have friends throughout their life stages, even if the other party has had troubles?
- Do previous people still go to them for advice?
- Old friendships indicate loyalty
Growth mindset
- Positive approach to facing problems and obstacles
The way they bring your best self out
- Do their positive/negative emotions positively/negatively affect you?
- Tip: consider how you feel after dates, ask someone how you acted due to them
Skills for fights/arguments
- How do you handle relationship-long problems due to incompatibility?
Dan Wile explained in his book After the Honeymoon: “When choosing a long-term partner, you will inevitably be choosing a particular set of unresolvable problems.” The goal isn’t to find someone with whom you don’t fight. It’s to choose a partner with whom you fight well, and who doesn’t make you worry that the fight will end the relationship
- Able to switch the atmosphere when things get too tense
Decision-making skills when together
- Tip: get immersive
- Rhythym while canoeing lmao
- ex) in charge vs follower
- Rhythym while canoeing lmao
“I want him to make me feel smart, funny, appreciated, and secure in our relationship.”
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Created:: 2022-01-08 15:50