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Status: Tags: Links: Pyramid of Personal Connection

Rapport

Notice, Wonder, and Inquire

Principles

• When people nderstand each other’s feelings and ideas and communicate well
• Signs of rapport can be found when a person is not:
  1. In the way or competition
  2. A means to get something
  3. Someone we are trying to impress

Consquences

Benefits

• Amplifies the power of communication/powerful questions
• Both parties having a genuine cu- iosity for someone else generate meaningful rapport
  • What if you could influence your curiosity onto someone else? How can you inspire curiosity in someone?
• Combining our fears and desires with other people allows us to collectively work towards them through everyone’s strengths and weaknesses

Downfalls

Cultivation

Advice

• Being more comfortable around strangers makes it easier

Practices

• Letting curiosity guide us in conversation
• Mindfulness of the situation
  • ex) When a student of his was hesitant on sitting near them, the author asked her why, and helped her self-reflect and work towards overcoming her fear
  • If we assume based on things in the past, then we may not be able to truly understand the current situation
  • Talking about the present is the most engaging
    • We can join their thoughts as both of you are able to witness the event -Introduce yourself for every person in a meaningful way
• Connect people to each other
  • “Connection before content”
  • Ask a question and get people to share their answers
    • What compelled you to say “yes” to the invitation to be here, and what about that is important?
    • What are you aiming to achieve at work, and what about that is important?
    • 15 minutes of groups of 3-4, stop discussion then ask: “What struck you about what you heard in your group?”
    • Helps establish some form of connection with everyone in the room

Traps

• Fears of Rejection or looking dumb
  • Antidote: Identify and solve through curiosity
    • Learn to higher prioritize curiosity over fear

    If you try to fake it, others will know and you will not be in a place of connection. It is important to act on natural, genuine curiosity

    • Curiosity is developed by:
      1. Being present
         • Slow down the desire to rush
         • Engage with what “is”
      2. Pay attention to what is happening now
         • Characteristics
         • Let go of expectation
         • Suspend judgement
      3. Listen to what we are drawn towards and be drawn towards them
      4. Finding out further curiosities
• Requiring commonalities
  • We can find connections without commonalities
  • People are more than our assumptions, and we can use our desire to learn the truth as powerful questions
  • By not acknowledging one’s bold characteristics, we fail to see someone for who they are
    • We straight up say, “I don’t see you”
    • Giving control to fear leads to mundane topics
    • Consider taking the risk and asking about it
      • Demonstrates honesty, vulnerability, and genuineness
• Invisible question lists/procedures
  • Feels safe but is not what we truly want
  • As we develop our skills, we should be able to depend less on guidelines
  • If we are not curious, then don’t ask
• Giving compliments
  • Giving compliments is not necessary
  • Is a judgemental statement
    • Closed off rather than a question
  • Can indicate manipulation
  • When giving compliments/being curious, be sure to also think from their point of view
    • If someone has a bold tattoo, instead of asking about it, ask about the interactions that result from it
  • Antitode: Prioritize rapport
    • Prevents a lack of answering from people as there is trust
    • If we want to perform deep and meaningful work, we need to strengthen our relationships
      • ex) Bond with workshop participants prior to starting
        • Sitting at your computer the whole time is a bad sign
• Feeling the need to connect to each person
  • Ideal, but virtually impossible
  • Antidote: Just be sure you see them and connect them

Backlinks

1

list from Rapport

References:

Created:: 2021-07-05 22:07