The Body Is Not An Apology

Body refers to us and our identity
Purpose is not certain, while natural intelligence is innate
- Natural intelligence is radical self-love

1 - Making Self-Love Radical

Instead of seeking self-acceptance, improving our self-esteem, or having self-confidence, we should try to engage in radical self-love
- Self-acceptance is a type of radical self-love, but at times it may feel forced
By transforming our relationship with our bodies, we can inspire and help others
Radical implies the fundamentality and extremity of our self-love
- Implies that it needs change
Intersectionality is a belief where one characteristic of someone’s identity is linked with ALL other elements of identity
- Since we are one identity in society, loving ourselves allows us to love the world
We always say sorry because of mistakes in our body
Shame is forged from external voices, while radical self-love is our internal voice
Being unapologetic allows for radical self-love
- Layers start to peel off through continuously doing this
  - Eventually, there is no need to be sorry for ourselves if we truly love ourselves
Projection allows us to not understand something about ourselves, as we place it on someone else as their fault

Make peace with not understanding
- We don’t always need to know why things are the way they are
  - Brings peace
Make peace with difference
- Bodies are diverse
- Believing in overgeneralization results in unfair competition and unrealistic goals for those who are truly not in the percieved example
Make peace with your body
- Acts as the start of changing society

We are taught to not acknowledge difference
- It helps mitigate harmful discrimination, but it only further distances marginalized groups
The Body Shame Profit Complex (BSPC) is a way for people to make money off of our insecurities
An average woman spends $15,000 on beauty products in their life
- It’s okay to purchase such products if it is OUR choice, and not because of society’s influence
  - It should be to refine our identity
Body shame survives because certain traits have been historically tied with power
The author faced sexual harrassment from the actual government (airport screening)
Body terrorism manifests body shame and oppression for our own bodies

The only way we can address our insecurities is to face and explore them
To live a radical self-love life, we must think, do, and be
The stereotypes we have against other people are not our thoughts, and they do not constitute of our true beliefs
- We can kindly release them from our mind; since they are not ours, it is our choice on whether we want to uphold them or not
Self-love is like a muscle; the more we engage it, the stronger and easier it will become overtime

The self-love pillars help make peace with our bodies by separating the outside voice from our own
If someone is being harsh on themselves, tell them to use their inside voice

Taking out the toxic
- Try to mitigate any media that imposes unhealthy ideals and normalizes unrealistic bodies
- Only support media that follows this idea
Mind matters
- Use the extra space from media mitigation to reinforce the pur relationships with our minds
- Instead of telling someone it’s all in their head, ask them how you can help
Unapologetic Action
- Explore and appreciate your body
  - Walk, dance, sexy time
- Create new stories and perceptions that redefine our view of our bodies
Collective compassion
- Is the manifestation and core of maintaining self-love
- Helps us realize when we are straying off
- Completely changing our worldview takes daily effort and practice
- Learn to be with each other

We must love ourselves entirely
Simply being nice won’t fix the lack of love in the world
We were taught the language of body terrorism, and the first step to changing this is to acknowledge it
Imprisoning people of color has enabled a modern version of jim crow laws

Be a body-shame-free friend
- Refrain from negative comments about any characteristics
- Includes health trolling (making unsolicited comments about a person’s health based on their physical appearance)
Engage and encourage curiosity-driven dialogue, not debate or arguing
- Listen to others, don’t change other people’s minds, offer/receive perspectives for consideration
Embrace multiple perspectives
- Don’t tell someone they’re wrong, as it prevents relationship building
Have compassion for and honor people’s journeys
- Not everyone has the same experiences as you
Expect and accept discomfort
- It’s okay if we are not able to hit the agenda during self-explorations or discussions as long as we are putting in the effort and getting closer
Acknowledge the intention of our words while addressing the impact of them
- Things can be open up for different interpretations
Take self-care breaks
- It’s okay to take a break from talking about such conversations
Try to focus on the topic when engaging in self-love conversations
Don’t attack, insult, or be unkind to others
Practice unapologetic inquiry and skepticism about our beliefs
Have conversations based on what people actually said
- Don’t be afraid to clarify
Assume the best in others
Celebrate differences
- Helps others feel safe and welcome
The goal of the conversation should be radical, unapologetic love
- Helps us understand ourselves and the people we talk to

Dump the Junk
- Be mindful of the kind of media we consume
- Consider a media fast
Curb Body Bad-Mouthing
- We need to stop encouraging others at the expense of ourselves
  - It’s crazy how common it is
- Be objective and mindful of the labels we give
  - Being fat isn’t objectively negative

Reframe Your Framework
- What meaningful benefits arise from degrading and hating ourselves?
Meditation
- Helps us stay present and aware of our current feelings
- Think of a mantra to uphold about yourself
  - The more body-shame it evokes, the better
  - “I love my body”
Banish the binary
- Thinking in extremes prevents us from partaking in self-love

Explore Your Terrain
- We can’t be intimate with something we don’t know
- Exploration
  - The intricate look and feel of our bodies
- Examination
  - Being aware of any changes in our bodies
- Touch ourselves
  - Lmao
  - Author recommends we think of things we find pleasurable and do them
Be in movement
- Find a form of movement that we enjoy
Make a new story
- Change the way you view certain “imperfections”
  - Back hair can turn into wings

Be in a community
- Being in a community that is opposed to intake the propaganda of society allows the formation of a better, more positive one
Give yourself grace
- Just embrace yourself for who you are, and don’t let the bad days overrule your inner voice

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